Why I'm withdrawing from EMT School...and other exciting news

A lot has happened in the past few months. In September I decided I wanted to go to EMT school. I did FAFSA, applied for PCC, got all the immunizations and took all the necessary steps to join the program. I got accepted into the program, and then in late October, found out I was pregnant! So exciting! With this pregnancy though, comes treatments (being hooked up to an IV in the hospital for 4 hours a week), starting at what we thought was 20 weeks. Since I decided to go back to school, Sean decided he wanted to go back also. Sweet! EMT school is Tuesday and Thursday for 8 hours a day. It's a 10 week, 10 credit course, that includes a 12 hour shift on an ambulance, and a 12 hour shift in an Emergency Room. Sounds fun, right!? (I'm not being sarcastic. It really does sound fun!) Sean is taking 15 credits, and is in class Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the day, and Tuesday and Thursday evenings. 

After seeing a specialist for this pregnancy, we found out that treatment would need to start at 14.5 weeks (ideally 12 but insurance wasn't worked out) and that it would be 5-6 hours of treatment a week. Not the 4 hours a week starting at 20 weeks like we thought.

EMT school and Treatment both started this past week. 8 hours of EMT school on Tuesday, 6 hours of Treatment on Wednesday, and 8 hours of EMT school on Thursday. A migraine decided to accompany me as a side effect of treatment, from Wednesday evening until Friday evening when I finally got some percocet that took care of it :)

With all of this going on, and after going to EMT school for only 2 days, I prayed really hard about it and felt really strongly that I should withdraw from EMT school. 

Let me back up and explain a different aspect. All along the way, I've seen God's hand in all of this. He placed EMT school right in my path, made everything possible for it to happen. Everything fell into place and I was beyond elated to go. I couldn't wait. Looking back, I realize that because of all of this, like I mentioned, Sean ended up going back to school. I also realized that I'd way rather be supporting my husband in school than going to school myself. It made me remember that I *chose* to be a stay at home Mom and I don't regret that decision. It is still a choice that I am proud of and one that I wouldn't change. Being gone for school and treatment while leaving my babies with friends and babysitters is just too much. I am missing out on what I'd way rather be doing, and what is ultimately better for our family. 

My favorite part about trials is that the Lord's hand is way more visible in our daily lives. I have seen Him moving the pieces around and making things possible and easy that normally wouldn't be so. I have felt His warmth and love, and even though life is way more chaotic than it's possibly ever been, I feel a calmness and piece accompanying me. I'm not stressed out about the logisitcs of insurance and treatment, and the financials of withdrawing from school. I know that school for me had it's purpose, and that purpose has fulfilled itself and now it's done. It is no longer a priority or a necessity for me. 

I know that the Lord is aware of our little family. He is aware of our strengths and weaknesses. He is aware of where we need a little extra help, and where we have a little extra to give. He has made it so obviously clear that we are loved and cared for, and that is the best feeling in the world.

Here's to moving forward with life, and growing our (not so little) family!